Q:  Hey Claudia.  I am getting married Thanksgiving weekend and was wondering when the best time would be to apply for a marriage license? Since the marriage bureau would be closed during that weekend, I’m not sure what to do. Please  help!

A:  I see you live in New Jersey, but you didn’t specify where you are applying for the license.   In any event, according to the New York State Department of Health website,  although the marriage license is issued immediately, the marriage ceremony may not take place within 24 hours from the exact time that the license was issued.  That means you can apply before Thanksgiving weekend.   A marriage license is valid for 60 calendar days, beginning the day after it is issued.   In New Jersey, there is a 72-hour waiting period before the license is issued. The waiting period begins when the application is filed with the Local Registrar.  The marriage license application is valid for six months from the date accepted, unless the Registrar has given prior approval to extend the validity of the application to a maximum of one year.

Q:  Hi Claudia,  I am planning on getting married in June 2013 and am already getting overwhelmed about the amount of money I will have to pay for just one day.  Is it reasonable to have a budget of $20,000 for an entire wedding on Long Island?  Where are places that we can cut costs?  We are looking at all sorts of venues such as catering halls, museums, and loft spaces.  Catering seems to be expensive everywhere.  Do you know of any reasonable caterers?  Thank you for your help!

A:  Erin, I hear the anxiety in your note.   And I can assure you, that even though Long Island is the third most expensive place in the U.S. to get married with budgets exceeding $50,000 these days, it’s possible to have a less costly wedding.   Having said that, the catering hall will take a large chunk out of your $20,000. but here is the key — it all depends on how many guests you want to have, and on the type of wedding you want to host (formal multi-course dinner or buffet-style?).   So my best advice to you is to first determine how many guests you want to have.  Make a list with your fiancee and then go back and whittle it down to a reasonable number.    The budget and your guest list will then determine what sort of space you can really afford. 

And there are many ways to save money — June is high wedding season and you’ll pay for it.   Are you flexible then?  Can you have your wedding off season, when catering halls offer less expensive rates?   A Sunday early afternoon wedding is always cheaper than a high-demand Saturday night wedding.   Forgo a formal meal and instead have a cocktail luncheon reception.   Visit trunk shows for discounts on your wedding gown or maybe someone in your family has a gently used wedding gown you can alter.  In this Celebrations.com article that I wrote, you’ll find decorating cost saving tips. And keep it simple — you, your fiance and your guests will have a memorable day no matter what the budget.   Our best wishes!!

Q:  Hi.  I’ve been engaged for around a year now, and I’m in no rush.  I’m thinking about June 2014.  I know that’s wedding season and I can’t get over the idea of spending so much money on just one day.. I feel like I’ve heard of someone having an outdoor ceremony with drinks and pastries after.. I want to have something a little more than a ceremony for people and so I can still have pictures with friends and family, I just don’t think I want to have a reception…We live in Suffolk county, any suggestions?  Thanks

A:  Katie, I love your question.   Many brides today feel cultural and social pressure to have the perfect wedding and that usually means spending lots and lots of money.  Long Island is the third most expensive place to get married in the country and weddings can run upwards of $50,000 here. 

What I usually tell couples is this:  if you have money to spend lavishly, do it.  You are only getting married once and if it will not break the bank so to speak, have the wedding reception you envision.   But for couples who have other financial priorities (and there are many these days), there’s no reason to cave to what you think might be expected of you.   Therefore, if you don’t want to spend a great deal of money on a wedding reception, please don’t.   A small, private ceremony followed by cocktails and sweets or a few hors d’oeuvres is perfectly fine!   The point is, whatever you do to commemorate this special occasion will be memorable for years to come.  So follow your heart and your wallet!  

Spa Week is April 16 – 22

$50 Spa Treatments

A few participating members on LI:

T Carlton’s Spalon

Sandalwood & Sage Day Spa

Hands on HealthCare Massage Therapy and Wellness Day Spa

The Spa at Bellport

Q:  Hi Claudia.   I love Long Island however most of these venues have exclusive vendors that you HAVE to use and honestly, they charge you an arm and a leg!  Do you know of any Long Island venues in Nassau or Suffolk that do not have a preferred vendors requirement?!   Thanks!

A:  Shea, if you come across a venue who tries to  “force” you to use their vendors, this is a total red flag — and you should steer clear of that kind of business enterprise.   Typically, venues have a list of recommended vendors that they present to couples.   But to force them on you?  No.  We asked Elizabeth Jaeger, Communications Director at The Inn at New Hyde Park to chime in on this.  Here’s her response:

Q:  Hello Claudia,  My fiance and I are looking for a unique wedding venue. We like places similar to The Foundry in Long Island City and The Paramount in Huntington, but the site fee alone is more than $10,000. We are looking for a place that has that feel, can hold 200-250 guests, and cost no more than $150 a person. We wouldn’t mind paying a site fee, but not for over $10,000. Even a restaurant that has that look would be great too! Thank you for your help!

A:  If you’re looking for a loft-like space on Long Island, unfortunately, they are few and far between.  However, here are a couple of suggestions that might work for you.  This may sound weird, but  Ferrari-Maserati of Long Island in Plainview has built a loft party space over their dealership.  The exclusive caterer is Andrea Correale‘s Elegant Affairs.  Next, check out the new super cool Indian restaurant, Mint, in Garden City.   They have a nice rooftop deck for parties.  Also the rooftop deck at Allergia Hotel in Long Beach offers a spectacular party space plus amazing views of the Atlantic Ocean.

Q:  Hello, I am so glad to find your site! I’m from Los Angeles and planning a bridal shower and bachelorette party in The Hamptons. Unfortunately I don’t know where to start! I’m hoping you have some suggestions for hotels, restaurants, and night life? We are looking to be there the weekend of July 14th. I would really appreciate it!  Thank you!

A:  I’m so glad you found our site too, Megan!  For your question, we went to an eastern Long Island wedding planning expert — J. Lynn Affairs.   Jody Blomberg, an experienced wedding planner who knows the Hamptons very well, gave us great ideas for you:   If you would like to stay in the heart of the Hamptons, check out The Maidstone in East Hampton. The Maidstone is a historical landmark and only a walk away to the East Hampton shopping and restaurants.   It also has onsite spa treatments, complimentary yoga in the Buddha garden, and Kronan bikes to ride into town, http://www.careofhotels.com/maidstone.   Head to The Palm for dinner…keep your eye out for celebs!   http://www.thepalm.com/East-Hampton.  Loaves and Fishes in Bridgehampton offers private cooking classes for you and the girls.   After the cooking lesson and preparation, you get to sit down, eat and enjoy a nice dinner party with your best friends.  http://www.landfcookshop.com.   The Beachhouse in East Hampton is another great spot for a bridal shower, dinner, or drinks!  They have an outdoor patio, or indoor restaurant to accommodate you and your guests, http://www.ehbeachhouse.com.   Oceanbleu in Westhampton is also great choice for your bridal shower. I would look into a casual lunch or brunch. This venue is beachfront and the food is delicious! http://oceanbleu-westhampton.com.

If you want to go further east, Montauk is also great choice for a bachelorette party.  Stay at Gurneys Inn, which is a beachfront resort that has private cottages for rent. They also have an onsite spa to pamper yourself and the girls. www.gurneysinn.com At night, hop a cab to the Surf Lodge for food, fun and cocktails…only five minutes away! www.thesurflodge.com.

Q:  Dear Claudia,  I’m having an Indian wedding in Long Island sometime in November.  We will have about 150- 200 people.  We are working on a budget of about 40 to 50 bucks per head. Is there anything that is affordable?

A:  Absolutely!  Here are a number of places that are within your budget:

Ariana Waterfall Caterers
79 Hempstead Turnpike
West Hempstead, NY
(516) 539-0766

Best Western Mill River Manor
173 Sunrise Highway
Rockville Centre, NY
(516) 678-1300

Larkfield Manor
507 Larkfield Road
East Northport, NY
(631) 368-4422

Mediterranean Manor Caterers
303 East Main Street
Patchogue, NY
(631) 289-5857

Shandon Court
115 E Main St
East Islip, NY
(631) 581-5678

Watermill Caterers
711 Smithtown Byp
Smithtown, NY
(631) 724-3242

Vina de Villa Caterers
2005 Route 112
Medford, NY
(631) 207-4452

The Riviera
200 East Shore Drive
Massapequa, NY
(516) 541-5020

Q:  Hi Claudia!  Since being engaged in December, we have done a ton of research to find a great venue. The search has been a bit frustrating since we would like to do something more intimate (about 75 people). We’ve had to rule out a lot of places because of their larger minimums. I fell in love with the Old Field Club but they require at least 100 & Raphael, my second favorite, only had Fridays available. Could you offer any advice on finding a smaller venue that does not have that traditional catering hall feel? Casual, rustic, wood floors, beamed ceilings, etc. We also liked the waterfront locations as well (Montauk Yacht Club, East Hampton Point, Allegria in Long Beach, etc) but would probably not meet their guest requirements for a Saturday wedding. Thanks so much for the help!

A:   Carissa, finding the perfect venue can be frustrating, I know.  And I have three suggestions for you to consider, if you are searching for a non-traditional, intimate space:  Take  a look at H on the Harbor in Port Washington.  The venue includes a large mahogany bar area, plus a working fireplace, maple hardwood floors and 12′ ceilings.  You can rent furnishings to really customize the ambiance.  And the cuisine here is outstanding.   Next, try Danfords Hotel & Marina in Port Jefferson.  This is a quaint, waterfront venue that also offers exceptional food and a very intimate, old-world feel.   What’s great here is that you and your guests and/or bridal party can spend the night and then enjoy some of the area’s attractions/fine dining.  Finally, consider the Rose Hunt restaurant, which is part of the Inn at Fox Hollow.  Here you’ll find a charming, English country estate feel — elegant and intimate.   Come back and let us know what you pick!

Q:  Hi Claudia! We are looking to get married in Sept. 2012 on the beach. We want everything outside and as much beach as possible. It will be about 200 guests. We don’t want anything too formal. No sit-down dinner, and not even enough tables and chairs for everyone. More of a cocktail party theme! But with such a large guest list, we are on a budget. We don’t necessarily want a “venue” feel. We would love to rent an oceanfront house and donut all right there! But that is seeming impossible to find! Any thoughts??

A:  Beth Ann, you didn’t mention if there’s any part of Long Island that you prefer for your beach wedding, Nassau, Suffolk, North or South Shore?   Regardless, renting an oceanfront house can be pricey.   Since it sounds like you want a very informal, outdoor event, you may want to consider a clambake.    One company that does it all is Hampton Clambake & Catering. They’re based in East Hampton, but travel.   Best of all, they can provide you with everything — from locations to tents to digging a bonfire for you.   I hope this is an idea that excites you and do come back and let us know if you go ahead with it!